


Trypophobic

by ienjoythetransformers



Category: Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Panic Attacks, Self-Harm, Trypophobia, maybe it's anxiety attacks actually I forget the difference, panic induced self harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-29
Updated: 2019-08-29
Packaged: 2020-09-29 22:23:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20443523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ienjoythetransformers/pseuds/ienjoythetransformers
Summary: Skywarp finds out he has trypophobia and it isn't fun





	Trypophobic

**Author's Note:**

> Please beware going into this if any of this stuff triggers you or makes you uncomfortable. The whole story focuses on Skywarp's trypophobia, panic, and self harm. That being said, I hope you enjoy

Skywarp sat outside the medibay staring at his arm. He had just come back from a mining expedition that had brought him along for backup. His team, unfortunately, had been ambushed leading to several wounded who filtered in and out of the medibay past him. That’s not why he was here, however. He hadn’t sustained much damage at all, really. No, he was here for some strange discoloration in his arm. Gray spots peppering the surface, which was once fully purple. Skywarp hardly saw how that was an issue though, just give him a fresh coat of paint and send him on his way. Though, he supposed, gray spots were kind of weird to just be showing up like that. He sagged against the wall, and waited for his turn to go into the medibay.

Skywarp continued to sit there, nobody got him. Hardly anyone even spared him so much as a glance. Even after everyone had been treated, and the medic had left, Skywarp still sat there. What was even the point? Had someone gotten mixed up and told him he needed to be here when he didn’t? He debated leaving, nearly even got up to do it, when he noticed the sound of familiar heavy footsteps coming closer. Apparently this was a big enough deal to get Shockwave’s attention… Shockwave approached, giving Skywarp a look that simply said “follow me” as he entered the medibay.

“So, why are we here instead of your dingy lab?” Skywarp asked as he got up and followed the scientist in, looking around the dimly lit medibay. He noticed most everything was still covered in energon, and most of the equipment was haphazardly thrown onto anything that wasn’t the floor. Perhaps the medic had gotten word of just who was going to be showing up and decided cleaning up would take too long.

“After I am done with my diagnostic, we will be removing the foreign bodies from your arm. All the equipment I will need is present in this room, so it is only logical that we do everything here, as transporting you would only be a waste of time and energy”

“I guess that makes sense…” Skywarp said, going over Shockwave’s sentence in his head once more “Wait, diagnostic? What are you looking for? And foreign bodies? What foreign bodies?” Was he sick? Maybe someone had detected scraplets on him. But then, wouldn’t that have been handled by the medic? Why did Shockwave care about scraplets?

“During the battle, you used your warp drive to insert your arm into an Autobot. As your matter was becoming tangible again, it had nowhere to go, and dispersed throughout the Autobot you had chosen as your target. Their matter has replaced what went missing in your arm, resulting in this spotting effect you see here.” He says, gesturing to Skywarp’s arm. “This was not the predicted outcome of your warp drive being used in this manner. Lie down, so I may examine your arm”

Skywarp nodded and laid down on the nearest clean berth, shifting around slightly. Apparently solids don’t mix. Might be good to keep that one in mind for the future. Well, that is, if he wants to avoid more Shockwave visits.  
As soon as Skywarp was down, Shockwave wasted no time in getting started. He was running tests, and poking, and prodding, and a whole bunch of other things Skywarp couldn’t care less about. Really, he just wanted this to be over. Maybe when he was done he could hunt down Rumble and Frenzy and see if they could manage to swap Starscream’s wax out with grease without Soundwave stopping them. He chuckled. That could be fun.

“Stop moving, this is a delicate process”

Skywarp huffed “Sorry this is taking forever and my trying to pass the time is getting in the way of your experiments”

“Stop talking as well, if you continue this behavior I will be forced to induce stasis”

That shut Skywarp right up. Sure stasis would make this go faster, but stasis with Shockwave? No. That usually meant waking up with a debatably stable black hole in your spark chamber or something, and no way was he going to be dealing with something like that. He stayed there, still and quiet for the rest of the procedure. The minutes seemed to go on for hours, a never ending stretch of nothing but Shockwave scanning and writing and- oh good, drilling. That meant he was close to done right? Skywarp hoped so. He didn’t know how much more of this he could take. He was nearly at the point of just offering up his arm completely, when Shockwave started packing up.

“That will be all, you are free to go until further notice.”

Finally, Skywarp couldn’t get up fast enough. Now it was time to get out of there before the damn cyclops could change his mind. He rushed to the door. Realizing he’d have to open it manually, he reached out to do so, catching a glimpse of his arm once again and-

Holes. His arm was full of holes. It looked as though something- several somthings- had decided they were just going to burrow in. Burrow in all over his arm leaving open access points so they could get out if they needed to. In his arm. Somehow, that was the worst thing that could ever happen to him.

Skywarp gasped and scratched at his arm. Oh, Primus, he could feel them. He let out a yelp. There were holes in his arm and he needed them to go away. He needed them to go away now. So he did what any reasonable mech would do and tore off his arm. Skywarp held his newly dismembered arm in his hand, energon pouring out of the stump it left behind. Skywarp through the arm away from him. He didn’t want to see it anymore. He didn’t want to feel it anymore. He didn’t want the holes to be left in his other hand. Oh, Primus, were they in his other hand? He looked. There was nothing there. He felt a moment of relief before a thought popped into his head.

“They’re in your back too”

Skywarp needed to get out of there. The longer he stayed, the more holes appeared. They were already spreading. Skywarp sprinted out of the medibay, scratching at every piece of him he could reach. He was just checking. He needed to keep checking. They might show up any moment, he has to keep checking.

Skywarp was whimpering as he stumbled down the hall. He was so caught up in making sure he was okay, it was making it hard to move any faster than a stumble. He was leaving scratches in his plating, some of them were turning into grooves, but that was fine. So long as he made sure there weren’t any holes that’s okay. It stung, it burned, it started drawing energon. But it was okay. Just keep scratching. Just keep scratching, it’ll be okay. His fingers were wet. There was energon in his optics. Just scratch, if the holes show up, you can scratch them away. Just scratch.

Skywarp blindly stumbled through the halls, there was energon in his eyes, he could barely see. He kept running into things. The walls, things left in the hallways, other mechs. Don’t touch other mechs. Scratch that part more, you haven’t done it enough. Skywarp just needed to get back to his room. His room would be safe. He’d be safe in his room. Where was his room.

Skywarp looked around. Energon was clouding his vision, but he managed to figure out where he was. Barely, but he managed. He continued stumbling, determined to make it. He was going to make it. He turned a corner, and ran right into another mech. He stumbled back and fell. He started scratching where they made contact. He could keep going once he took care of that.

A hand grabbed him and yanked him up, and a voice he knew all too well spoke to him in a hiss. It almost sounded calm, but barely contained rage boiled just below the surface “Hello, Skywarp. I’ve been looking for you.”

Of course he had to run into Megatron

“It seems as though you’ve been having a bit of difficulty recently,” He began, grip tightening, “I’ve been informed, that you’ve been running around, mutilating yourself, and trailing energon through my ship, as you run into every obstacle that dares stand in your way. Even, it seems, if said obstacle, is myself.” He dents Skywarp’s shoulder “Now, would you care to explain to me, what exactly is going on?”

Skywarp stared at him, optics wide. He needed to leave. He needed to go to his room. He needed to scratch. He was being touched, he needed to scratch it. He needed to scratch it before it was too late. He needed to scratch it and go to his room- He had been asked a question.

“I-I- uh...” He began, shakily, before being slammed into the wall.

“I do not wish to hear your sniveling excuses, soldier!” Megatron sneered. “You are a Decepticon!” He said as he brought Skywarp back to face him. “Act like it.”

With that, he tossed Skywarp aside, sending him back into the wall. Skywarp crumpled to the ground as Megatron towered over him.

“I expect you to take care of yourself, and to cease this pitiful display. Do not let me catch you doing something like this again. Do you understand?”

Skywarp nodded. He needed to get out of here. He needed to scratch. He can’t scratch in front of Megatron. The holes are forming. He couldn’t do anything about it. He needed to leave. 

Megatron gave Skywarp one last look before walking off. Head held high, hands behind his back. “For your sake, I hope you’re telling the truth.”

Skywarp lay there miserably. His body ached and stung, and he still needed to scratch. He ignored it as he picked himself up, and trudged his way to his room, it’d be okay. He’d be okay. He should be going to the medibay right now, but- the image of his arm flashed through his mind- no. No, he couldn’t go back there. Not right now. He needed to go to his room. His room was safe. He needed to lay down, this could be dealt with later.

Skywarp made it to his room and stepped inside. The first thing he noticed was Thundercracker sitting on the berth. That was fine. Thundercracker was safe too. Thundercracker would make it better. He made his way inside and flopped right onto his trine mate. Thundercrackers arms enveloped him in a hug.

“Skywarp? What’s wrong? What happened?”

Right. Of course he’d want to know what happened. But Skywarp didn’t want to talk about it right now, so he simply shook his head.

Thundercracker’s grip tightened slightly, voice stern “Skywarp. Tell me what happened. Who did this do you.”

Skywarp shook his head once more “Please, just… I’m tired Thundercracker, can we talk about this later?”

Thundercracker pulling back from Skywarp, holding him out at arms length. “Of course you’re tired, you’re leaking energon like a faulty fucking dispenser! Your fuel has to be critical by now! Why aren’t you in the medibay!?”

At the mention of the medibay Skywarp stiffened. “No, I- I can’t go there” He started shaking his head “I can’t be there- I can’t-”

“And why not!?” Thundercracker yelled “You’ll bleed out here! You need help!”

Skywarp flinched back “Just- Just dress the wounds you can here… cauterize my arm, I’ll be fine, just- just- please don’t- don’t make me go back there right now. I’ll- I’ll- I’ll get it taken care of just not- not right now. N-not right now…”

Thundercracker’s look hardened slightly, then he nodded. “Fine,” he said, as he went to get the medkit. Thundercracker came back, sitting next to Skywarp getting right to work. He began heating up a knife, looking at Skywarp’s tired, panicked face.

“This is going to hurt.”

“I know. Just do it.”

Thundercracker gave Skywarp and apologetic look as he placed the hot knife against Skywarp’s open fuel line. Skywarp yelled out in pain through gritted teeth as the wound was sealed. The smell of burning metal thick in the air.

Thundercracker set the knife aside and began dressing the more superficial wounds, grunting in annoyance “Once I find out what medic did this to you-”

Skywarp shook his head “No medic… It was me… I’ll tell you what happened, but… later.”

Thundercracker grunted and acquiesced, finishing dressing the wounds and getting up to put the medical supplies away. When he came back, he was holding a cube of energon which he held out to Skywarp. The purple seeker took it thankfully, sipping at it. Thundercracker wrapped his arms back around Skywarp as he finished his energon, pulling him close. Skywarp sat there, basking in the comfort his trine mate had to offer. He fell into recharge, his systems happy to have a break after all that. He’d talk about this eventually, but for now, it was time to rest.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I hope you enjoyed. This is the first fic I've ever written, so I'd absolutely love if you have any constructive criticism. I decided I wanted to start writing, and I thought this might be a good way to do it :D


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